Heather's Web Journal

Hey everyone, well today was okay. I had to wake up at 8:30 to be at work at 9am, ick. I worked til 2, it took forever. I had to put all these stupid plastic jesuses up on the shelves and stuff, even though nobody will buy them I'm sure. Santa is just more popular. after work i came home and watch tv and started falling asleep on the couch, then Todd called and we talked for a while. He told me there was a party friday and saturday night, and that he had bought a suit from the goodwill and a plastic top hat so he could be drinkin' lincoln. Well all I had was the ears and tail i got from the dollar store, and I had no idea what I was gonna wear with it, so I conned my mom into going to kmart with me to find some clothes by making her remember the days of old and how much fun she used to have dressing me up for Halloween. hehe, gets em every time. Well i bought this sheer shirt thing with like feathers on the sleeves and collar, it kinda looked like fur tho, and it was white, so yep got that, and i bought some white knee highs and a white tank top. my mom got me some faux fur, im not sure what im gonna do with it just yet. i tried it all on when i got home, with my short denim skirt and high heels, man i looked good, lol. Todd's gonna flip when he sees me. I can't wait! I think I'll just wear the ears tomorrow though, i dont want to draw a crowd ;) anyways, after we got back i had to leave for class. My teacher was talking and then he was passing out some paper and saw my project that i was working on, a perspective drawing. he told the whole class to come look and see how good it was, i felt so proud :) After class i came home and took a shower and now I'm writing. Todd should be home from work soon, and he said he'd call when he got home, so I guess he should be calling pretty soon. I talked to Todd about fufilling one of my fantasies, to build a fire on the beach and watch the stars together. he agreed so tomorrow I'm going to pick up some firewood, maybe some marshmallows too! how cool is this gonna be!!? He also wants me to pick up a bunch of stuff from his house again, man I told him he'd want all this stuff eventually. oh well, its a proven fact that men don't want to listen. so i think im gonna bring my small tv too, cuz he said he wants to watch scary movies together tomorrow night in his room ,just the two of us. how much watching we'll actually be doing is questionable, especially after not seeing each other for 2 weeks, lol. I can't wait to see him though, I missed him even though I didn't show it, I think I did a good job of playing it cool when he said to work last weekend. I think it will be good for us though. He's been saying he misses me more, and I mean u gotta love that. and he says I love u b4 he hangs up the phone, which he rarely does. Well tomorrow I have photography class, I hope i get all my prints done this time so I can turn in this project. Some of the pics are pretty cool. then I'll come home and wash some clothes I guess, then after that I have work til 9:30, then I'm gonna come home and get all sexy for my baby and go party! WOOT! well thats about all for now. I won't have time to write this weekend, so I'll tell ya about it on Monday probably. It should prove to be a great weekend, the weather is supposed to be mid 70s and sunny, waves rolling in, and lots of fun stuff to keep us busy. well wish me luck :) I'm out

Well another argument with Todd. I thought things were really going good, the other day we were on the phone and he was telling me how he missed me this weekend, and that he loved me and stuff. and then last night we were on the phone, everything was fine and then i was joking around saying he had a low self esteem since he made fun of ppl all the time, cuz he didnt get enough love as a child. and he was just like "ok well im gonna go now, cya" and hung up. i thought he would call back, i didnt think it would have made him that mad, but I guess it did. I tossed and turned trying to sleep but I couldn't, I cried a little too, cuz I thought things were gonna be good this week. so then i get home after work and we talked about it. apparently he didnt know i was joking, and he says i say it all the time. but i dont really mean it! he jokes with me all the time, and when i get upset he's like "geez I was joking, cant u take a joke?" uggh. Anyways, i guess we talked it over and kinda changed the subject. I didn't back down this time though. I told him if he ever hangs up on me again it's over. I deserve better than that. He was like "are you threatening me?" YOU BETTER BELEIVE IT! So hopefully he gets some smarts and realizes he was being immature. i told him i was sorry for saying that cuz i didnt know it hurt him so much. but ofcourse he didnt apologize for hanging up. The last time Todd apologized to me was at that concert when i caught him smoking a cigarette, boy have things changed. but enough about my relationship...
Hmm what else is there to tell... I'm getting sick of school, im stuck in a lull, the same thing happened in the fall last year, i hope i dont fail anything though. I've been going to the gym, and trying to eat better still, my mom went shopping today and still bought the same old crap, plus a couple more fruits and some breakfast bars, wow mom, such a maniac! im going shopping with her next time so she can see what "healthy food" means. it doesnt include oreos and mac and cheese. sheesh. then tonight we were making some sausage with onions and peppers on the george foreman grill.. and the woman takes the grease trap thing and POURS IT BACK ONTO THE FOOD! I'm like MOM! thats defeating the whole purpose! what a moron.
I finally have some spending money, it's about time. I got a $70 check, wahoo! i have to save some of it though for my billl, hopefully it will be all paid off in a couple months. then i will be debt free, ah. and i cant start saving for a place to live next year! yay!
I'm attempting to make a new website, but unfortunately I have a short attention span and I always give up halfway through making it. And then when I wanna start it up again, i have all these new ideas and I have to start from scratch. oh well, atleast I updated the old one, thats good enough I guess. Well class is starting so I'd better be off, cya later.

quote of the day: "if men's brains were made out of brocolli, lots of little kids would be malnourished" (i dont know, i just made it up ::shrug::)

Well I'm just sitting around being bored. Woke up for work this morning, but felt sick so i fell back to sleep, and then they called an hour later to ask where i was and i had to get up and go since I missed work thursday. i checked my away message, and Todd had IMed me at like 5:30am, he didn't call me like he usually does, guess he thought it was too late.. err early. i felt like crap at work for a while, then started feeling a little better. I was the only cashier too and it was really busy, I got maybe 5 minutes total where there werent customers waiting to be rung up. oh well. I got to leave an hour early and go home. Todd called while I was getting some lunch and we talked on the phone for like an hour. He's prettymuch stopped being a punk and saying mean stuff now, guess my assertion thing worked. heh :) but yea he was telling me about why he wants to be an environmental marine scientist, cuz i asked him b4 and he had some selfish excuse about wanting to travel and surf. but he told me he wanted to help the water and the animals and the beaches, that they shouldnt be sacrificed for stupid tourists. aw my sweetie does care. I'm excited about going next weekend to visit him in Salisbury cuz we're gonna have fun at the halloween parties, I got a costume from the dollar store, a white cat, it comes with ears, a tail, and a little bow, its gonna be cute. We're gonna go to punkin chunkin, where these ppl shoot pumpkins out of home made air cannons and catapaults, should be cool. So far I'm doing good with the fact that I am not seeing him this weekend. this will be the longest we've ever spent apart. but he's probably having a great time not having to deal with me, and he can go to bars all he wants without me there. I have to start looking for a real job soon so that when this semester is over I have something lined up, but I don't even know where to look or how to do it. Plus im so shy I would probably never get the job. me, Britt and Amber are supposed to have a sleepover tonight, but i dunno, britt will be riding til like 11 and amber and alex are going to some concert, i dont know what time thats over. so I guess we'll see. Well I can't think of much else to say, oh, Monday is me and Todd's 5 month anniversary :) ok, thats all for now.

Hey people. its been a while I know, I know. Not like anyone reads about my boring life anyways, but oh well. it's something to do in this stupid class anyways. what kind of class gives u a bunch of tutorials and no actual projects? what a bunch of crapola. Then he dumbass tests us on it like we actual did the crap. All he does is sit up at his little computer for 2 hours, probably looking at porn or something, and doesnt say a word the whole time. "okay everyone, work on lesson 8" and everyone pretends to do it. haha, what they dont know is that I spend my time meaninglessly surfing the internet, and talking to random people on AIM. yes college life is very strenuous.

Working at the dollar tree is okay I guess, I mean i can't really complain, all I do is count things (which sometimes even I can screw up, my math skills have never really been up to par) and stock the shelves with things that people buy on impulse that they don't really need, will never use, and will end up throwing away or hiding in some box never to be seen again. oh my job is so gratifying! i wish i got more than $6 an hour though, cuz i only work like 18 hours a week, and i spend whatever i make on gas and greasy food. i need to start looking for a real job soon, scary thought isnt it? working every day? the thought makes me a little nervous.

As i am pretty certain Todd doesn't even know about this website, let me take this time to write about my wonderful significant other. I thought things had started to get a little better, todd seemed more open and i thought we were finally getting somewhere, then it all came crashing down. the name calling, teasing and plain disrespecting over the phone and while his dumbass roomates are around. he thinks he has to act all tough and stupid around them. what is he trying to prove? well i finally had enough of it and told him how i felt. he seemed to be listening, but who knows. ive started retalliating whenever he throws a line or says something sarcastic, and this time im not backing down. im not gonna be some dumb girlfriend who lets her boyfriend walk all over her and treat her like crap, im better than that. well hopefully the weekend off from each other will rejuvinate some feelings in him and make him see how good i am to him. in the meantime i continue to endure my friends telling me im too good for him, and that i should dump him right away and find a real "gentleman", but u know what, i think we're doing okay....man still 20 minutes of class left.

Well I started trying to eat better, but somehow i always find myself eating a couple cookies or some halloween candy. man that stuff is addictive! i have had maybe like a cup of soda in about 3 weeks, a pretty big accomplishment for me, the dentist seems to know too because I have 3 wonderful new cavities to get filled now, yippie! nothing i love more than having 3/4s of my tooth drilled out and plastic put in to replace it. honestly. ive been trying to get some exersize lately, but its hard to stay motivated when there are such great shows on TLC all afternoon, I've taken a great liking to a couple of shows, trading spaces, makeover story, while you were out, and baby story are good, although wedding story, dating story, perfect proposal, and sometimes baby story make me all depressed and wish i had a better life, but i must count my blessings i suppose.

Man this is turning into a long post, I think I'll try to separate the paragraphs for easier reading. I have been doing the diet thing for like 3 weeks, and i havn't lost a single pound. i never realized how hard this really is to do. I really admire those people who can lose hundreds of lbs. thats just insane. Ive found myself looking at nutrition facts more often now, although i probably dont even know what half of it means. but if its low fat and low carb, ill eat it.

winter is approaching quickly, and everyone is now seen wearing fluffy jackets around, and I can see my breath. they are calling for frost tonight, yeesh. I think my surfing days might be put on hold until the spring. more time for taking pictures and admiring my sexy surfer boyfriend from the shore :) I think he's more misunderstood than anything else, I mean he comes off as this tough guy with no emotions, but man when we're together he gets this look in his eyes like in the movies, when the guy has been away from his love and finally reuinites with her and looks into her eyes as if she were the only thing in the world. yea thats Todd. he says the sweetest things and treats me like a princess when we're all alone. its like his little secret between me and him, that he has a soft side. sometimes he makes me wonder about him though, the things he does, or says, sometimes make me upset. sometimes i dont even know if he's saying it for real or just messing around. its hard to tell sometimes. but whatever he does I hope he doesn't do something him or I regret. Well this post is long enough now. class is almost over. maybe I'll try to write these little things more often in class, beats doing stupid work anyhow. well until next time, this is me saying "if ya cant stand the heat, stay out of the freezer!"