Heather's Web Journal

Well well, welcome back. What's new you ask? well let me tell you! Last weekend at Todd's was pretty cool for the most part. Friday we just hung out and stuff, then Saturday (V-day) we checked out a surfing swap meet in O.C., i bought some stickers that say "surfer girl, O.C. MD" on them. Todd went surfing for like an hour afterwards with one of the guys from the club. I just waited on the beach and fed some seagulls, and then walked along the beach picking up trash and throwing it away. I was a little annoyed that Todd wasn't hanging out with me on v-day, but he was like "just wait til later" I didn't know what he was talking about. We got back and hung out for a while, I kept wanting to go take a shower, but he told me to wait til later. He went and took one and then told me to go take a long shower.. I figured he had something up his sleeve. I took my shower and started walking down stairs, but he promptly ushered me back up. He said to wait til he said I could come down. So I waited a little while and then he came and got me. I walked downstairs to see the table set with candles and a bottle of wine and 2 wine glasses. He made me chicken, potatoes, and green beans, but way fancier, all from scratch. he told me how he had to cut the ends off the green beans and everything, lol. how cute. Then he had a card for me with a little poem in it "roses are red, violets are blue, just wait til you see what im gonna do to you" hah hah, what a funny guy. He also had 2 presents wrapped in tin foil (very chic) they were a bag of my fav cookies and seabiscuit on DVD! since he knew I'd been wanting to see it for a while, and that I was reading the book. I asked if he was going to watch it with me, since he didn't want to see it in the movies with me.. and he said "yep, thats the plan" so we ate dinner, it was really nice, then we laid on the couch together drinking from our wine glasses and watched seabiscuit. I thought it was pretty good, but the book had way more details. So the rest of the night was ahem, private. The next day Todd had a lot of homework to do, so I mostly just sat around and watched tv. Him and Jason were watching the Daytona 500, but I got bored and decided to go on Todd's computer. I started looking around his files for some videos i had seen on there earlier.. but what I found was not something I needed to see.. Videos he had sent to Mary while she was in college i guess.. saying he loved her and all that jazz. then the worst... a video of them french kissing for like 30 seconds.. blah.. i was a little disturbed about it, especially since Todd had asked me to get rid of all my stuff from Adam, and delete phone numbers from my phone of guys I used to date. When he came upstairs I was like "dont tell me to get rid of my stuff anymore" he got so mad that I was snooping through his stuff, he said that he couldn't trust me and that moving in together isnt such a good idea, and that i should leave. I was kinda pissed at myself and i started packing my stuff. my keys were in his car though and he wouldnt get them for me. So i was just walking around, and i punched the door a couple times and broke open a layer of skin on my knuckles. When he finally noticed he acted like he cared, without really showing it too much. I just stayed away from him for a little while and he calmed down. Then I left later that night with everything in check per say. Then today I talked to him about all that, he said he didnt know those videos were on there and that he was sorry, and that he deleted them. kinda makes me wonder if he has anything else on there that he "doesnt know about" maybe I shouldn't go there though. Well anyways, we talked about the moving situation and I told him if his heart wasnt into it, that i wouldnt move in. He still says he isnt sure. But I guess we'll see. If I don't I think I might just move to Florida. Start a new life and get away from all this crap. I don't want to lose Todd, but I think if we cant even get along in a house together, theres no way we could ever have a life together. Sounds crazy at this age, but why the hell would I be with someone who cant tolerate me for more than a few days at a time? u know? Well thats about all.. works same old, pretty good.. tonight I'm going out with Jen and Chelsea (the girls i work with) to some church for a college night thing with food and a band that chelseas boyfriend is in. it should be interesting. I do need to get out more and meet new people and such. So thats all for now. I'll keep u posted on whats up.

Well I started my new job. It's pretty cool so far. I have a lot to memorize but its not hard. I work with 2 girls about my age and our boss. It's pretty laid back and we can go at our own pace and talk and stuff. Yesterday we watched Montel and Judge Hatchett on tv while we worked, lol... Todd came over last weekend and it was fun, he took me out to red hot and blue for dinner to celebrate my new job. He liked my hair :) Not too much happened, cept now I don't know if I'll be able to take Tink with me cuz todd says the lease doesnt allow pets and nobody else living with us likes cats. We'll see, maybe I can give them a guilt trip or something. It feels good to actually be doing stuff instead of sitting around. I'm still going to work at the dollar tree on thursday nights at 5:30.. so thats an extra $20 a week. That means I'll be getting about $300 a week! I can finally pay off my credit card bill and start saving up my money. I'm pretty happy about that. My mom's birthday is Friday, but they will still be in FL. I bought her a Beatles DVD that I hope she'll like. I'll have to leave it here for when she gets back. Well thats all thats really new. buh-bye 4 now

I got the job! yay! I start monday morning at 9. woo hoo, im happy. Now I'll have to talk to the dollar store and see what they're gonna wanna do. I'd be fine with working one or 2 nights a week for them, as long as it was like after 5:30. Also today I did some workout video and afterwards I checked my weight, it looks like I lost a couple lbs! obviously its not just from that, maybe its just cuz I don't have any food (cept my slim fast shake i had for breakfast) in my system. oh well, its better than nothing. so im thinking about going to the gym now.. but im kinda scared to go alone. Amber knows how to work all those machines, im afraid I'll look stupid in front of everyone trying to figure it out.. maybe I'll just stick to running and the video.. heh... well thats all, just wanted to update you on the job. cya later

Well since I have so much free time lately, I've had to think of things to do during the day. Today I woke up and called a few pet shops to get prices on GloFish. They are genetically altered fish about an inch long, that have a pink glow to them. one place wanted $9.95 for one! they are only like an inch big. I finally found one for $5.99 (still pricey, but oh well) and drove to pick it up. I named him Gene, because of his unique genetics. I put him in the tank with my other fish, (2 goldfish and 2 platies) and they all got along fine. He's pretty cool. I think my 2 Platies are going to have babies cuz i caught them doing the nasty the other day. That would be neat. I went to my interview and I think it went well. The lady said she would make the decision by the end of the week. I don't know if she'll choose me or not, but I'm hoping really hard. Todd is going to come back home for the weekend which will be cool since my rents are going to florida on thursday. so we can hang out here and stuff. He might be going on some hunting/fishing trip with his brother and dad.. but I can't go.. stupid male bonding. I'm sticking to my diet pretty well I think, but I havn't lost any weight or anything yet. I've been dieting for about 2 weeks now. I should have lost atleast 2lbs.. but no... sigh. My goal is to lost 5lbs... it doesn't seem like much but damn it's harder than it sounds! Todd says he thinks I'm pretty and I don't need to diet. but I cant even look at my thighs in the mirror these days, its so nasty looking. I hope it goes away by summer so I'll look good in my bikini, lol. Tomorrow should be boring as usual, maybe I'll go to the gym at school, I keep putting it off.. I kinda don't wanna go alone, but I cant find anyone to go with. we'll see. Well I think thats all for now...cya

Well, whats new...
Tomorrow I have an interview at Signs By Tomorrow. I will be helping make the signs and assisting customers for $8 an hour. I'm kind of mad though, cuz i only put down $8 on the resume, and I think I could have gotten more. oh well. I'd be working 8:30-5 monday through friday. which is good because then i will still have time to get to class, and i can still work nights sometimes at the dollar store for extra money if i want. its right down the road like 5 minutes too, which is great. so hopefully i get the job. they seemed impressed with my resume.. so my hopes are high. i have a feeling that I'll be working a lot for the next couple months. My parents are showing the house in April, and are planning to move out by June. So im trying to get some money together to move out. Ive talked to Todd about living together, and although it isn't 100% certain yet, I'm prettysure thats what I'll be doing. So if we get a place with 3 bedrooms, we can share it with jason, and todds friend lauren. so the rent would be pretty darn cheap. like $200 or something. I started my last class, so far it seems okay, kinda boring, but we'll still get to design stuff so thats cool. I'm getting excited about getting a job and moving out. I've already started to pack some stuff up, lol.. even though I have atleast 4 months. I got my hair cut yesterday by my aunt. its real short again, i like it a lot better, it makes me look older. i bought some highlight stuff and put blonde highlights in it too, it looks pretty good. I cant wait for Todd to see it, I know he'll think I look sexy :) hrm, well not much else is going on right now that I can think of.. so I guess thats all for this entry. cya next time.

H.Tay (my J.Lo name)